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Lining up for Spam

My last post had everything to do with avoiding spam, and now I am here to tell you, this weekend I witnessed people actually line up and wait just to get their own portion of SPAM - the luncheon meat! Talk about keeping it weird, there was an entire festival in central Austin just to pay homage to that denigrated meal. Well, tongue-in-cheek homage, as SPAMARAMA! is really all about playing with the food, in every way imaginable!

Lining up for SPAM!

Appropriately enough, this “pandemonious potted pork festival” is held every year on April Fools day - I mean, who would believe you if you said you were headed to a SPAM cook-off? Well, I went, I witnessed, and I wondered - why here, why Austin? Oh sure, it’s cool and fun and wacky - SPAMALYMPICS, anyone? - but how did this start?

According to the web site, the initial impetus was to have an alternative to the all-too-common chili cook-offs. Only in Texas do you get tired of chili cook-offs, I suppose - and only in Austin does someone come up with an alternative crazy enough that their neighbors will voluntarily be a part of it - for 28 years and counting. Jeez, what’s the shelf life of SPAM anyway?

Now, the official SPAMARAMA site says nothing of this, but I discovered there is another linkage between Austin and SPAM – and no, I don’t mean we have an overabundance of lazy-assed porno pushers and medical miracle misfits. Did you know that SPAM is produced in Austin? Yep, there’s even a SPAM Museum, right there on SPAM Boulevard. No - I’m not kidding you! Of course, I’m not talking about Austin, Texas, but Austin, Minnesota, the corporate home of Hormel Foods . Talk about weird! Is this some kind of comedic karma? Or, more sinister-like, some machiavellian marketing?

Anyway, if you want to go ask someone at Hormel, just get on I-35, go north for oh, about 1100 miles, hang a right at Bancroft, MN, and wait another 20 miles. You’ll find yourself smack dab in SPAM heaven. Whoopee!

Keepin’ it Weird

The weather was pretty awesome this past Saturday afternoon, and in between dodging ham-hatted SPAMaholics and hog-nosed porky people, I had a pretty good time. I missed Nathan’s Stupid Drama , but I did get the CD, and yes - the rumors are true - this guy can play the acoustic! I’ll have to catch his act live sometime.

In a classic “if-someone-had-told-me” moment, I did enjoy the irony of watching contestants do all they could to hold on to the stuff as they ran the SPAM Can Relay – “Can’t spill the SPAM - Can’t spill the SPAM - Can’t spill the - DAMN, I spilled the SPAM!”

Spam SPam SPAm SPAM!

Mmmmmm…..

And then there was the obligatory SPAM eating contest, which was probably the most obvious Hormel-driven event that day. In one masterful stroke, conclusive proof was presented that not only is the stuff in the can edible, it really is filling - the contest lasted for several minutes! If SPAM meat was as insubstantial as we have come to believe, the contestants would have chowed down in no time. Instead, the assembled masses got to witness long, agonizing moments of chomping, chewing, and strained swallowing. “Better you than I”, they must have thought, “better you than I, to find SPAM’s not naught!”

Yes, spring has sprung in Austin. The weirdness blooms and the fun beckons, and it’s time to get out and enjoy all the town has to offer. What a cool place to be!